I can do hard things...

Ladies and Gents prepare yourself.

Well Today is Sunday and Ive been in Houston for 25 hours now. It has been the LONGEST 25 hours of my life thus far. Oh my freaking heck. I was not prepared for this transition like I thought I was. Lets walk you through this shall we.

Thursday September 27th.
This is how the day went... I spent Wednesday night at Marles house and spent the day with her going to Doctors appointments and such, then we went to Coen and Emmas school for a block party. Well we were getting our party on and it came time for Marlee and Abby and J to leave and head home. Mar came and gave me a hug bye and this is the first time it hit me that that was the last time I was going to see them until Thanksgiving probably. Holy as soon as Mar walked away the water works started automatically. Then that night had to say bye to Coen. Emma. Lyla and Jack. LAME! oh.  It. was. outrageous. so gay. I have never experienced that kind of heartache. Walking away from all of my babies and knowing its going to be a month before I see them again was like having my heart ripped out of my chest. I cant even handle it. They arent even my kids and I feel like a little part of me has died. or maybe not died. I just feel like I am missing something. The amount of love that I have happening for those kids is unreal. oye. this is stupid. anyway...

Friday.
Ma took the day off to help me START packing. START! At this point I am supposed to be moving in less than 24 hours and I have yet to start putting anything in a box. SUPER awesome. So I started packing and then mom informed me that my seesters wanted to have one last GNO and get some yozen frogurt. holler! SO we ran down to Midlothian did a few errands and played with my sisters. I cried like 50 thousand times while we were all shopping in Target because it was getting WAY TOO REAL. but anyhow. we said our peace outs and went on home. Came home and still had a gang of packing to do. And at about 2 am we went to bed to prepare for our drive on Saturday.

Saturday. also known as the dumbest day. ha
all I have to say is I woke up crying. Seriously something is wrong with me. not even kidding. I cried while I finished packing. Cried in the shower. Cried while mom ran errands. Cried when I sat down in the car. Cried while I ate my chicken for lunch. and on the road we were. we left Midlothian at about 2:30 in the afternoon and I might add... from the second mom got home and we started loading the car it started POURING! and it continued to pour all. day. long. the whole way to Houston. But ya know you cant tell the difference between the rain and the amount of water coming out of my face. seriously the WHOLE WAY DOWN. the smallest thing I would think of and the water works would start. eh. so we get to the house at about 6:30 Saturday night and we go for a "casual" dinner with the fam at saltgrass. And you bet. while we were waiting for our table I start crying.. I LOATHE crying in front of people. I hate it more than anything and I try to hide it or just ya know cry myself to sleep but no matter what I did the tears just kept on flowing. We come home from dinner and all I want to do is snuggle in my bed with my mom and stop crying. So mom goes upstairs and I go down to talk to everyone about today.. (Sunday) and that quick conversation ended in me yep you guessed it CRYING yet again with Hannah... (the current nanny) she took me up to her room and we just talked about how gay my emotions are. ha! So we talked for like an hour and then I went to my room completely humiliated and started talking with mom. We talked. we laughed. we cried. we.... SNUGGLED! HA! It was hard for me to sleep. I kept waking up thinking that she was gone already. I woke up crying. I woke up feeling like there I wanted to go home already. No way could I do this. It was awful.

So now we are here on today. Sunday and we woke up and did a few things. cried.. AGAIN! and the time came when it was time for mom to leave. It was SO incredibly hard to watch her go. From the time I woke up on Saturday I thought literally 50 times that I just wanted to go back with her. I knew this was going to be hard but boy. I did NOT think it would be this hard. I love my Mom to the moon and back and we might fight about little things but nothing will ever change how close we are and how much I admire her. oye. Im sitting here crying... shocker i know.  anyway. since she left about 5 hours ago. i have cried alot. laughed some. and Never been more hopeful about the situation.
I can honestly sit here and say that at this moment I am so excited this adventure. I know I can do this. It is going to be hard. yes. and Im sure some of you are thinking that Im over reacting but I am just now realizing that this is Kind of a big deal for me in my life right now and its hard. But if I dont try I will be so pissed at myself. I know that I am supposed to be here. I know this is where the Lord wants me at this time in my life and that I have NO doubt about. Im excited to see whats in store for me. I am terrified. but nonetheless excited. Faith over fear right??? thats what I keep telling myself.

Well now that ive wasted most of yalls time with this never ending blog post. Im done. :)