7 days. 7...7...seven.
alright. lets update on this week shall we?
after completely overreacting on Saturday and Sunday I got my crap together and have not cried since!
HA! right.
Monday Tuesday Wednesday I basically just followed every move Hannah made. (the old nanny) We did all the house work and ran all the errands, and did everything we needed to do. including taking care of the freaking dogs. I swear. That is one thing I dont think I will ever get used to. I am SO not an animal person. at all. nope.not one bit. and the fact that I now have to care for 2 massive dogs and a cat does not make me jump for joy. The dogs are super old and the oldest one just well.. needs to go on to glory! ha. I mean that sounds bad but whatever. Its the truth. The dogs are like royalty in this house. I have never understood the human/animal relationships that people have but good on yall! someone needs to love and care for those things. Bitzy is the oldest and shes really sick. she is on like 7 meds that she has to take twice a day. therefore i must give them to her. ew. she has this special food you have to mix. its a mixture of wet and dry food and all 2 of the meds I have to add to the food. wet it. and mix it up. SICK! it smells like vomit that has been licked up and thrown up again and then someone didnt clean it up for a few days and it has now started to grow mold. its so nasty. it makes me gag every morning and night that i have to do it. So thats only 3 of her med. the other 4 I have to stick inside of meatballs and force feed her. one pill i have to fill on my own. its like a freaking pharmacy. I did NOT go to school for that! ha. anyway. whatever they are cute from a distance. blah blah blah. also another dumb thing.. ive started waking up BEFORE my alarm goes off. Like a good 45 mins before. and I already get up freaking early. ew. who does that!?ha
On the other hand. I have started to slowly build relationships with the family but it is so hard. Ive talked and become friends with 3 of the previous nannies so ive talked to them all this week extensively and we have all agreed that the actual job is not hard. not one bit. anyone could do it. But the hard part is the emotional side. the emotional side of every aspect of this job is so hard. I still miss Dallas so much its hard to function sometimes. I still wish I was at home instead of here. I still wish that I wasnt such a baby about this but that is not the case. I tell myself everyday that it will get better. Just give it some time. You have only been here one week. When emotionally if feels like ive been here a month. It is just crazy. There have been moments this week where I have felt completely alone. Today I was by myself driving to pick Sean up from school and I dont know what came over me but I just lost it. The tears just started coming and I could not stop them. I know that I am here for a reason but that reason I do not know yet. I know that I need this in my life but do I know why yet?? of course not.
A very kind soul sent me this quote from President Hinckley today. "Put your trust in God and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. If we put our trust in him, if we pray to him, if we live worthy of his blessing, he will hear our prayers."
In the end when it just me alone with my thoughts in the middle of the day or at night. I know that I might feel completely alone at that moment but I know that Im not. I know that I will never be alone. ever.
anyway enough of the complaining already! Good news....
I found out yesterday that I get to come home for a full WEEK for Thanksgiving. I am BEYOND excited. Also except for feeding the dogs... I dont have to work till Wednesday. Oh this could be bad. ha! also I am way too tired to re read this to check for spelling or to even see if it make sense. just go with it! and i warned you not to read it. dont get loud with me if you did! ha :)
